Final Chapter

We have made a decision that has taken fourteen thousand miles to reach. I can’t count the number of conversations--Michelle presenting one possibility while I tried on another, switching between futures ranging from easy to staggeringly difficult to implement—or the number of confusions, but things became increasingly clear once we focused on a single problem to solve. Michelle and I will stay in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, and buy a house, the really radical idea for us; and yet one that we’ve decided we’re ready for. I don’t think we would have made this choice without backing away from everything by taking our long trip. It feels now, back in Virginia, as if we are exactly where we are supposed to be, and as if we have traveled exactly as far and wide as needed.

To get here from Orlando we did not simply get over to I95 and drive hard all the way north, stopping only once along the fourteen hour journey. We headed further south first. Michelle’s aunt, Carol, lives in Sarasota, surrounded by some of the greatest beaches I’ve seen. Aunt Carol brought us to Venice Beach and about five others, where the ocean washed to shore a different kind of shell or created a beach of unique composition. Walking over sharks teeth, crystallized sand, or a soft powder like snow, we scoured for shells. I waded in the seventy degree water and sifted the seaweed for the abandoned homes of cocina, abalone, and conch. When we weren’t at a beach, we were eating with Carol’s family and having amazing conversations that helped clarify issues we’d struggled with for the last two months. In retrospect: we were finally ready to reach conclusions and needed a supportive environment, along with impartial listeners to sound things off of, in order to transition from questioning many aspects of our lives on a daily basis to committing to at least one of them.

By the time we left Sarasota, we knew that we would return to the Hampton Roads and buy a house. Still, we visited three sets of people that we had made plans with. My aunt and uncle live in Fort Pierce, Florida, in a development in the center of a massive orange grove. I had not seen them since our wedding, and we talked about the trip, our decision, and their life in Florida. Jeannette and Jimmy are wonderful people and have raised four children, my cousins, and at one point helped raise me as well! I loved visiting with them.

That evening we made it to Delray Beach and had dinner with Michelle’s Uncle Franklin, his wife Ruth, and his sister Lenore. We spent the night with Michelle’s aunt, at her condo on the beach. Lenore has pictures from around the world and many great stories to tell. In the morning, I went out to the water and waited for the sun to rise over the ocean, capturing one of my favorite photos from our trip.

We drove through Florida, stopping at Saint Augustine, and then continued through Georgia on our way to Charleston. We stayed for three nights with Michelle’s friend Janine and her family. John, Janine, and baby Isabella shared their home and allowed us to relax and recoup. One restaurant we went to sits along an Ocean inlet and we saw dolphins cruise beneath a bridge in a pod of three. Janine loves Charleston and shared many stories of this old Southern city, taking us on drives alongside the oldest houses and most interesting parks. I would love to return to Charleston one day.

Our trip was officially over at this point. We did not want to continue for the five days that we had originally planned, because we no longer had our hearts in seeing places we might live in. We needed to get back to Virginia and jump into our decision and find a house. Even so, we stayed our final night on the road in Wilmington, North Carolina, and had our final big “what if” discussion, as was most typical for this trip, over dinner. In the morning we went shopping for work clothes, got our hair cut, and confirmed plans to meet with our former employers. We drove home that evening.

Now we are in the middle of returning to work and are making an offer on a home in Hampton, Virginia, twenty minutes from Michelle’s parents. Once you make a decision, things seem to happen quickly. We chose this course of action only two weeks ago, in Florida, but the momentum of two and a half months of conversations and insights propels us forward. We’ve had a second honeymoon, or more accurately thirty or forty of them: seeing sunrise together over the Grand Canyon, being one of thousands of couples making a romantic getaway to Niagara Falls, spending five amazing days on a resort in Albuquerque, and visiting together many more places on our list of Must Sees than I’d ever thought we’d reach in twenty years. We picked apples together, rode roller coasters, had picnics at the ocean, and hiked through deserts, forests, and sand dunes. This has been a trip made together. And together we have talked and learned to communicate better than I would have dreamed possible. This trip was a success!

Thank you for reading. We have not always posted on time, so thank you for your patience as well. I hope that you have an amazing holiday season and that you get to make all of the journeys that you need to make.